It's only been a month since we started this journey to heaven. If you ask me, I have my personal reasons why I did it, but I never imagined that it is God's work. I often hear this from other Christians - "nothing in this world is accidental, it is always God's work or will." At the beginning I would like to believe that it was but I was skeptic. Yes, it could be God's work. But I also believe that I came looking for God again in my own will because I'm in need again. Since the beginning, I already consider it as selfish, but that's my reality. Although I'm a bit skeptic, I forced myself to be optimistic. Just go with flow and see where it takes me. I will take whatever comes my way. Then this verse was along that way, John 6:44 - "“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day (NIV)." Am I being drawn by God to come to Jesus? Could be.
Just recently I am reflecting on how things in the past month had happened. I resigned from my work as a nurse and went looking for a better one. When I'm not yet with the group, I was optimistic that I could find what I'm looking for, then I realized that there isn't much opportunity out there for a nurse other than inside a hospital. Growing anxious and worried, I remembered God again. I said to myself, if I win back the favor of God, it could work to my advantage. If not, I had nothing to lose because I don't have anything to begin with. So I gave it a shot.
My resignation is not a well thought of decision. At the beginning I thought of taking it back because I can't afford to be jobless at all. I have no savings to support me and my family. But I stuck with it. Could an unwise decision be God's way to draw me back? With John 6:44, I am starting to believe it to be so. I always hear people say God moves in mysterious ways. In this case, God is performing His own version of a ninja move on me. When I filed my resignation letter, I never thought that I would be turning to God. For all I know, I will just be looking for another job that pays better. Joining a Dgroup and reading the Bible again was never in the agenda. But it happened. Is it still my will, could be. I could still say no if I want to. Is it God's will? More likely so.
Who could have given me the idea to resign without any reason and giving much thought about it? Resigning from work is a big decision and doing it without thought is foolish but it doesn't mean God cannot allow it happen if He is planning something great for me. I'm also thinking, what if I didn't resigned? Could God still have lead me to where I am now? Maybe be, but more likely not. I realized that, although our situation in the family is not what I dreamed of and far less ideal, we were okay and we were like it for many years. So, as I have mentioned, there's really no reason for me to leave my work or seek Jesus. So it must be Him.
I am truly glad that I realized that as I write this entry in my journal. God did a ninja move on me. He had placed the idea, without me even knowing it, to quit my work so that He could draw me back again to Jesus. Leaving work created a need in me, without it, I would never have turned my eyes to our Lord. It is true, indeed, that God draws people closer to Him and Jesus and not just mere accidental. The question for me now, will I follow4. Answer, absolutely. I am not sure what is instored for me but I know will not let me down. All I have to do is to trust, listen, and obey. AMEN.
No comments:
Post a Comment