A gracious reminder not to lose sight again

It is sunday again and I said to my wife that I'm beginning to love sundays, not because it's my day off, but because I can go to church. It is becoming my favorite place right now. So today, we decided to try CCF North Edsa instead of going to CCF main, mainly because of convenience and to save money on commute.

The place was small but nice. What I didn't expected was that it was almost full. It was only its second sunday service, so I'm not expecting many people to attend. Another thing that didn't go as expected was the message. It was a video, no live pastor preaching. Actually, it is not something new with CCF. They do it once in a while. What's different is that the topic of the message was delayed by two weeks. So, the topic was again about John 9 instead of John 11. It came to my mind to leave. I've already heard the message, so I thought why stay, but I didn't. Then I realized, it is our Lord's way of giving me a gracious reminder not to lose sight of Him again.

The message on John 9 was about spiritual blindness. Over a month ago, I was spiritual blind. By the grace of God, I am slowly regaining my sight. However, a couple of weeks back, I felt I'm slowly losing my sight again because of work and my laziness. Also because I feel that I already got what I needed from God. So, I am reverting back to my old self again. Therefore, it was a timely reminder from God to me not to lose sight of Him. Although the time period is not that long, God acted quickly.

It is amazing how He acts. Honestly, for the most part, I couldn't understand our Lord and how He works. It was only out of my own convenience why I decided to go to CCF Noth Edsa, yet Jesus had better things in mind. It was His will that lead me to go to North Edsa in order for Him to remind me. In addition, I also learned a few other things that I might have missed before. Jesus is truly amazing. Thank you for the reminder Dear Lord. AMEN.

The best is yet to come

My bible reading was briefly interrupted as I start in my new job. In that short span of time, I also didn't talked to God that much. I kept remembering to pray and read the bible but my laziness kicked in again. So today, while at work during an idle time, I read John 11. The story about the death of Lazarus. I've read it already but decided to read it again. As usual, I did not understand anything when I first read it. But this time, I realized something, and it could be related to what's in my mind right now.

I realized that Jesus could have easily healed Lazarus, even without being physically present. But He chose not to. Not because He doesn't want to but because He has better things in mind. If Lazarus was healed by Jesus, it will not display the glory of God completely. Jesus healed a blind man in John 9 but not everyone believed. In this case, the Jews would also refuse to believe too. They could even say that it is just a scam, that Lazarus pretended to be sick and Jesus pretended to have healed him. So, Jesus waited for him to die. Lazarus can pretend he's sick but definitely not dead. As a result, when He raised Lazarus from the dead, it clearly displayed His powers and it definitely brought glory to God. Many believed as written in verse 45 and there's no indication of disbelief. Instead, some simply went to the Pharisees and reported what they saw in verse 46 and even had an "emergency meeting" in verse 47 because there is no more denying what Jesus is capable of and who He really is.

How is this related to my current situation? For others, the whole passage could mean differently. But for me, it only means the Jesus has better things in mind, beyond what I could imagine. I'm in my second week in my new job and it is not turning out the way I'm expecting it to be. Don't get me wrong, I prayed to Jesus to give me a new job and I believe this is the one He blessed me with. But as I've mentioned, so far, it's not what I expected. Like Mary and Martha who expected Jesus could come and heal Lazarus but didn't, not because He can't but because He has better things in mind. I realized that my new work is still part of God's plan but the best is yet to come. So, I just have to faithfully believe that Jesus has better plans for me. For now, I just have to endure what I presently have. AMEN

From the Adulterous to the Blind

Today's sunday message at CCF is about the blind man in John chapter 9. In a previous post, I talked about the adulterous women in chapter 8 and how I was able to relate my self to her. Now, it seems that I'm also like the blind man. Something that I didn't realize before and missed in my Bible reading. The story is essentially about Jesus healing a blind man which correlates to our spiritual blindness and the role Jesus plays.

Being born into this faith, I know Jesus by name but not by heart. Therefore, I'm spiritually blind all my life like the man who has been blind his entire life. Then Jesus came and restored the man's sight "so that the works of God might be displayed in him (NIV)." In my case, it is me that came looking for Jesus because I needed something from Him. It never crossed my mind that I'm spiritual blind and that looking for Jesus, I would be healed from it. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm completely cured of my spiritual blindness because I still struggle in a lot of areas like avoiding certain sins and trusting in Him faithfully. But certainly, I am now able to understand some teachings and concepts about our faith and about Jesus that I never knew before. I became conscious of my actions and behavior. My faith definitely is different now compared to before. Looking back in the past month, I always say that it is too early to tell if there's change in me already. But today, I say a lot have changed.

Now I pray as often and as consistently as I could. I could say I prayed more times in the last month than in the last decade. I started to read the Bible again. I try my best to have my quite time everyday. My wife and I are attending a Dgroup, that's a big difference already in my life. I started this blog to serve as my journal. I never wrote anything about my faith and Jesus.

In addition, I haven't seen any porn materials and have not masturbated since I joined my Dgroup. Those two are the biggest sinful addiction that I have. I'll be lying if say that I'm not tempted to take a look but so far I'm succesful on this

However, there are still areas where I struggle hard. A good example of this is with the way I look at women. Before I would look at them with lust, especially to those "gifted ones" if you know what I mean. But now, I am more conscious about it. I try my best to look away at times or tell myself not think of anything if ever I saw one. But I will be a hypocrite if I say I've already overcomed it. At times, I could still catch myself staring and then sinful thoughts would creep in my head. In times like this, I would quickly close my eyes and pray. It is definitely a struggle. But because I became conscious about it, I could still say that I'm no longer completely spiritual blind and been putting an effort to avoid it.

I still have a long way to go and it's only just been a month since. My prayer is that as I see more clearly now, may our Lord reveal Himself even more. Jesus show me what I need to see to grow more deeper in my faith. Show me the way to better lead my family. Show me all my wrong doings that I may be conscious about them. Heal my spiritual blindness so that your work will be displayed in me. AMEN.