It is sunday again and I said to my wife that I'm beginning to love sundays, not because it's my day off, but because I can go to church. It is becoming my favorite place right now. So today, we decided to try CCF North Edsa instead of going to CCF main, mainly because of convenience and to save money on commute.
The place was small but nice. What I didn't expected was that it was almost full. It was only its second sunday service, so I'm not expecting many people to attend. Another thing that didn't go as expected was the message. It was a video, no live pastor preaching. Actually, it is not something new with CCF. They do it once in a while. What's different is that the topic of the message was delayed by two weeks. So, the topic was again about John 9 instead of John 11. It came to my mind to leave. I've already heard the message, so I thought why stay, but I didn't. Then I realized, it is our Lord's way of giving me a gracious reminder not to lose sight of Him again.
The message on John 9 was about spiritual blindness. Over a month ago, I was spiritual blind. By the grace of God, I am slowly regaining my sight. However, a couple of weeks back, I felt I'm slowly losing my sight again because of work and my laziness. Also because I feel that I already got what I needed from God. So, I am reverting back to my old self again. Therefore, it was a timely reminder from God to me not to lose sight of Him. Although the time period is not that long, God acted quickly.
It is amazing how He acts. Honestly, for the most part, I couldn't understand our Lord and how He works. It was only out of my own convenience why I decided to go to CCF Noth Edsa, yet Jesus had better things in mind. It was His will that lead me to go to North Edsa in order for Him to remind me. In addition, I also learned a few other things that I might have missed before. Jesus is truly amazing. Thank you for the reminder Dear Lord. AMEN.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
The best is yet to come
My bible reading was briefly interrupted as I start in my new job. In that short span of time, I also didn't talked to God that much. I kept remembering to pray and read the bible but my laziness kicked in again. So today, while at work during an idle time, I read John 11. The story about the death of Lazarus. I've read it already but decided to read it again. As usual, I did not understand anything when I first read it. But this time, I realized something, and it could be related to what's in my mind right now.
I realized that Jesus could have easily healed Lazarus, even without being physically present. But He chose not to. Not because He doesn't want to but because He has better things in mind. If Lazarus was healed by Jesus, it will not display the glory of God completely. Jesus healed a blind man in John 9 but not everyone believed. In this case, the Jews would also refuse to believe too. They could even say that it is just a scam, that Lazarus pretended to be sick and Jesus pretended to have healed him. So, Jesus waited for him to die. Lazarus can pretend he's sick but definitely not dead. As a result, when He raised Lazarus from the dead, it clearly displayed His powers and it definitely brought glory to God. Many believed as written in verse 45 and there's no indication of disbelief. Instead, some simply went to the Pharisees and reported what they saw in verse 46 and even had an "emergency meeting" in verse 47 because there is no more denying what Jesus is capable of and who He really is.
How is this related to my current situation? For others, the whole passage could mean differently. But for me, it only means the Jesus has better things in mind, beyond what I could imagine. I'm in my second week in my new job and it is not turning out the way I'm expecting it to be. Don't get me wrong, I prayed to Jesus to give me a new job and I believe this is the one He blessed me with. But as I've mentioned, so far, it's not what I expected. Like Mary and Martha who expected Jesus could come and heal Lazarus but didn't, not because He can't but because He has better things in mind. I realized that my new work is still part of God's plan but the best is yet to come. So, I just have to faithfully believe that Jesus has better plans for me. For now, I just have to endure what I presently have. AMEN
I realized that Jesus could have easily healed Lazarus, even without being physically present. But He chose not to. Not because He doesn't want to but because He has better things in mind. If Lazarus was healed by Jesus, it will not display the glory of God completely. Jesus healed a blind man in John 9 but not everyone believed. In this case, the Jews would also refuse to believe too. They could even say that it is just a scam, that Lazarus pretended to be sick and Jesus pretended to have healed him. So, Jesus waited for him to die. Lazarus can pretend he's sick but definitely not dead. As a result, when He raised Lazarus from the dead, it clearly displayed His powers and it definitely brought glory to God. Many believed as written in verse 45 and there's no indication of disbelief. Instead, some simply went to the Pharisees and reported what they saw in verse 46 and even had an "emergency meeting" in verse 47 because there is no more denying what Jesus is capable of and who He really is.
How is this related to my current situation? For others, the whole passage could mean differently. But for me, it only means the Jesus has better things in mind, beyond what I could imagine. I'm in my second week in my new job and it is not turning out the way I'm expecting it to be. Don't get me wrong, I prayed to Jesus to give me a new job and I believe this is the one He blessed me with. But as I've mentioned, so far, it's not what I expected. Like Mary and Martha who expected Jesus could come and heal Lazarus but didn't, not because He can't but because He has better things in mind. I realized that my new work is still part of God's plan but the best is yet to come. So, I just have to faithfully believe that Jesus has better plans for me. For now, I just have to endure what I presently have. AMEN
Sunday, October 2, 2016
From the Adulterous to the Blind
Being born into this faith, I know Jesus by name but not by heart. Therefore, I'm spiritually blind all my life like the man who has been blind his entire life. Then Jesus came and restored the man's sight "so that the works of God might be displayed in him (NIV)." In my case, it is me that came looking for Jesus because I needed something from Him. It never crossed my mind that I'm spiritual blind and that looking for Jesus, I would be healed from it. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm completely cured of my spiritual blindness because I still struggle in a lot of areas like avoiding certain sins and trusting in Him faithfully. But certainly, I am now able to understand some teachings and concepts about our faith and about Jesus that I never knew before. I became conscious of my actions and behavior. My faith definitely is different now compared to before. Looking back in the past month, I always say that it is too early to tell if there's change in me already. But today, I say a lot have changed.
Now I pray as often and as consistently as I could. I could say I prayed more times in the last month than in the last decade. I started to read the Bible again. I try my best to have my quite time everyday. My wife and I are attending a Dgroup, that's a big difference already in my life. I started this blog to serve as my journal. I never wrote anything about my faith and Jesus.
In addition, I haven't seen any porn materials and have not masturbated since I joined my Dgroup. Those two are the biggest sinful addiction that I have. I'll be lying if say that I'm not tempted to take a look but so far I'm succesful on this
However, there are still areas where I struggle hard. A good example of this is with the way I look at women. Before I would look at them with lust, especially to those "gifted ones" if you know what I mean. But now, I am more conscious about it. I try my best to look away at times or tell myself not think of anything if ever I saw one. But I will be a hypocrite if I say I've already overcomed it. At times, I could still catch myself staring and then sinful thoughts would creep in my head. In times like this, I would quickly close my eyes and pray. It is definitely a struggle. But because I became conscious about it, I could still say that I'm no longer completely spiritual blind and been putting an effort to avoid it.
I still have a long way to go and it's only just been a month since. My prayer is that as I see more clearly now, may our Lord reveal Himself even more. Jesus show me what I need to see to grow more deeper in my faith. Show me the way to better lead my family. Show me all my wrong doings that I may be conscious about them. Heal my spiritual blindness so that your work will be displayed in me. AMEN.
Friday, September 30, 2016
The First of Many
Last wednesday (Sept 28), I got my first answered prayer since a month ago. If you've been following me so far, I turned to Jesus again because I'm in need of a better job, nothing more. And long story short, I got what I asked for. My prayer was for God to give me the job that I want and be able to start immediately, and it is exactly what happened. Next week (Oct 3) I'll be starting on my new work. As I reflect on this, I again remember Matthew 6:33 and it is becoming my favorite verse so far.
Jesus said to me, "I told you so." The verse is saying that I should seek Him first and all things shall be added to me. Jesus truly delivered what He promised. At first, I was seeking what He can do for me. Then I realized through the verse that I should seek the Giver and not what He can give. Honestly, if you ask me how I did it, I don't have a clear answer yet but I tried my best to keep my focus on Him alone. Of course I still continued to pray and ask for what I need. At times, doubt creeps in my mind and begins to worry. What I do is close my eyes and I ask Jesus to calm me down, take away my doubts and worries, and help me keep my focus on Him. Here I am, I just got my first of many. Truly if you seek Him first, all things shall be added on to you.
Usually, my problem when I already receive what I prayed for is I begin to again turn my back from Jesus. My prayer Lord is that you continue to help keep my eyes on You. I don't want to revert back again to my old self. THANK YOU JESUS, AMEN.
Jesus said to me, "I told you so." The verse is saying that I should seek Him first and all things shall be added to me. Jesus truly delivered what He promised. At first, I was seeking what He can do for me. Then I realized through the verse that I should seek the Giver and not what He can give. Honestly, if you ask me how I did it, I don't have a clear answer yet but I tried my best to keep my focus on Him alone. Of course I still continued to pray and ask for what I need. At times, doubt creeps in my mind and begins to worry. What I do is close my eyes and I ask Jesus to calm me down, take away my doubts and worries, and help me keep my focus on Him. Here I am, I just got my first of many. Truly if you seek Him first, all things shall be added on to you.
Usually, my problem when I already receive what I prayed for is I begin to again turn my back from Jesus. My prayer Lord is that you continue to help keep my eyes on You. I don't want to revert back again to my old self. THANK YOU JESUS, AMEN.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
God proved me wrong
When I began this journey, the only thing on my mind was I needed God because I'm in need. Then thougths about all of my wrong doings (or sins) starts hunting me. I kept asking myself if God could still forgive and how can I ask for His forgiveness. Then during one sunday at CCF, the message fit me perfectly. It is about the adulterous woman and how Jesus showed His grace (John 8:1-11). Afterwards, I kept on putting myself in the shoes of that woman and it showed some wonderful revelations to me.
Firstly, my first post in this blog was about why I don't want to join a Dgroup because I don't want to be criticized. Initially, I thought they would never do that because they are Christians. Then this verse made me realize that they will not condemn me because they have sinned as well. That makes them unqualified as termed by the speaker. I found security in this verse and was proven wrong.
Secondly, I also felt that the reason why I'm going through all these hardships is because God is condemning me since I'm far from Him. Well it could be true because He said it, "those who does not believe in Him stands condemned already." However, I realized that it is me who is condemning myself, and not God, by standing far away from Him. If I draw near and believe in Him, I will not be condemned like what He said to the woman. Since the woman believed in Jesus, she was not condemned.
Finally, I decerned that God already did His part by not condemning and now I should do my part. He said to the woman at the end, "sin no more," This already speaks for itself.
As I read the Bible, God is definitely talking to me. My attitude right now is listen. AMEN.
Firstly, my first post in this blog was about why I don't want to join a Dgroup because I don't want to be criticized. Initially, I thought they would never do that because they are Christians. Then this verse made me realize that they will not condemn me because they have sinned as well. That makes them unqualified as termed by the speaker. I found security in this verse and was proven wrong.
Secondly, I also felt that the reason why I'm going through all these hardships is because God is condemning me since I'm far from Him. Well it could be true because He said it, "those who does not believe in Him stands condemned already." However, I realized that it is me who is condemning myself, and not God, by standing far away from Him. If I draw near and believe in Him, I will not be condemned like what He said to the woman. Since the woman believed in Jesus, she was not condemned.
Finally, I decerned that God already did His part by not condemning and now I should do my part. He said to the woman at the end, "sin no more," This already speaks for itself.
As I read the Bible, God is definitely talking to me. My attitude right now is listen. AMEN.
Monday, September 26, 2016
God's "ninja moves"
It's only been a month since we started this journey to heaven. If you ask me, I have my personal reasons why I did it, but I never imagined that it is God's work. I often hear this from other Christians - "nothing in this world is accidental, it is always God's work or will." At the beginning I would like to believe that it was but I was skeptic. Yes, it could be God's work. But I also believe that I came looking for God again in my own will because I'm in need again. Since the beginning, I already consider it as selfish, but that's my reality. Although I'm a bit skeptic, I forced myself to be optimistic. Just go with flow and see where it takes me. I will take whatever comes my way. Then this verse was along that way, John 6:44 - "“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day (NIV)." Am I being drawn by God to come to Jesus? Could be.
Just recently I am reflecting on how things in the past month had happened. I resigned from my work as a nurse and went looking for a better one. When I'm not yet with the group, I was optimistic that I could find what I'm looking for, then I realized that there isn't much opportunity out there for a nurse other than inside a hospital. Growing anxious and worried, I remembered God again. I said to myself, if I win back the favor of God, it could work to my advantage. If not, I had nothing to lose because I don't have anything to begin with. So I gave it a shot.
My resignation is not a well thought of decision. At the beginning I thought of taking it back because I can't afford to be jobless at all. I have no savings to support me and my family. But I stuck with it. Could an unwise decision be God's way to draw me back? With John 6:44, I am starting to believe it to be so. I always hear people say God moves in mysterious ways. In this case, God is performing His own version of a ninja move on me. When I filed my resignation letter, I never thought that I would be turning to God. For all I know, I will just be looking for another job that pays better. Joining a Dgroup and reading the Bible again was never in the agenda. But it happened. Is it still my will, could be. I could still say no if I want to. Is it God's will? More likely so.
Who could have given me the idea to resign without any reason and giving much thought about it? Resigning from work is a big decision and doing it without thought is foolish but it doesn't mean God cannot allow it happen if He is planning something great for me. I'm also thinking, what if I didn't resigned? Could God still have lead me to where I am now? Maybe be, but more likely not. I realized that, although our situation in the family is not what I dreamed of and far less ideal, we were okay and we were like it for many years. So, as I have mentioned, there's really no reason for me to leave my work or seek Jesus. So it must be Him.
I am truly glad that I realized that as I write this entry in my journal. God did a ninja move on me. He had placed the idea, without me even knowing it, to quit my work so that He could draw me back again to Jesus. Leaving work created a need in me, without it, I would never have turned my eyes to our Lord. It is true, indeed, that God draws people closer to Him and Jesus and not just mere accidental. The question for me now, will I follow4. Answer, absolutely. I am not sure what is instored for me but I know will not let me down. All I have to do is to trust, listen, and obey. AMEN.
Just recently I am reflecting on how things in the past month had happened. I resigned from my work as a nurse and went looking for a better one. When I'm not yet with the group, I was optimistic that I could find what I'm looking for, then I realized that there isn't much opportunity out there for a nurse other than inside a hospital. Growing anxious and worried, I remembered God again. I said to myself, if I win back the favor of God, it could work to my advantage. If not, I had nothing to lose because I don't have anything to begin with. So I gave it a shot.
My resignation is not a well thought of decision. At the beginning I thought of taking it back because I can't afford to be jobless at all. I have no savings to support me and my family. But I stuck with it. Could an unwise decision be God's way to draw me back? With John 6:44, I am starting to believe it to be so. I always hear people say God moves in mysterious ways. In this case, God is performing His own version of a ninja move on me. When I filed my resignation letter, I never thought that I would be turning to God. For all I know, I will just be looking for another job that pays better. Joining a Dgroup and reading the Bible again was never in the agenda. But it happened. Is it still my will, could be. I could still say no if I want to. Is it God's will? More likely so.
Who could have given me the idea to resign without any reason and giving much thought about it? Resigning from work is a big decision and doing it without thought is foolish but it doesn't mean God cannot allow it happen if He is planning something great for me. I'm also thinking, what if I didn't resigned? Could God still have lead me to where I am now? Maybe be, but more likely not. I realized that, although our situation in the family is not what I dreamed of and far less ideal, we were okay and we were like it for many years. So, as I have mentioned, there's really no reason for me to leave my work or seek Jesus. So it must be Him.
I am truly glad that I realized that as I write this entry in my journal. God did a ninja move on me. He had placed the idea, without me even knowing it, to quit my work so that He could draw me back again to Jesus. Leaving work created a need in me, without it, I would never have turned my eyes to our Lord. It is true, indeed, that God draws people closer to Him and Jesus and not just mere accidental. The question for me now, will I follow4. Answer, absolutely. I am not sure what is instored for me but I know will not let me down. All I have to do is to trust, listen, and obey. AMEN.
My Forgiveness
When I read the Bible again for the first time in a long while, I stopped at the verse of John 3:20. How it fits my reason why we do not want to join a Dgroup. And after our first meeting, one of my immediate thoughts were my sins. We shared one or two with the group and asked myself if God could still forgive me and my wife. Everytime I prayed since then, I would always asked for forgiveness. I also include in my prayers if God could still give me a way to redeem myself for what I have done, although, I could no longer take it back.
Then I saw the verse of John 3:18 - "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son (NIV)." I missed this verse when I was writing about John 3:20. I originally planned on reflecting about the famous John 3:16 but it lead me to verse 18. Then I thought this might be God's way of saying He forgives my sins for as long as I believe in Him genuinely.
This is where I have to be really careful. I should believe in Him to the fullest of its definition. I should not be halfhearted or else my forgiveness might just be halfhearted as well. I know God doesn't forgive lacklusterly but to receive His forgiveness fully, I should believe in Him fully as well. This is what the verse reveals to me. I can assure myself that our Lord will forgive me and my wife for as long as we believe in Him truly. My belief in Him is my forgiveness. AMEN.
Then I saw the verse of John 3:18 - "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son (NIV)." I missed this verse when I was writing about John 3:20. I originally planned on reflecting about the famous John 3:16 but it lead me to verse 18. Then I thought this might be God's way of saying He forgives my sins for as long as I believe in Him genuinely.
This is where I have to be really careful. I should believe in Him to the fullest of its definition. I should not be halfhearted or else my forgiveness might just be halfhearted as well. I know God doesn't forgive lacklusterly but to receive His forgiveness fully, I should believe in Him fully as well. This is what the verse reveals to me. I can assure myself that our Lord will forgive me and my wife for as long as we believe in Him truly. My belief in Him is my forgiveness. AMEN.
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